Dude, seriously. I saw the video of Nick Berg being beheaded by a bunch of goatfuckers and I was pissed, but the idea of someone being beheaded, while savage, just wasn't as disgusting as The Human Centipede (First Sequence).
In this movie, an evil German surgeon kidnaps two female American tourists and a Japanese ne'er do well and, well... sews one girls mouth to the Japanese guy's asshole and her friend's mouth to her asshole.
Like. A. Human. Centipede.
Hilarity ensues when he feeds the guy in front (who is, there's just no other way to say it, the LUCKY one in this scenario) and waits for nature to take its course.
And take its course again.
And presumably, take its course again, but by now, wouldn't you too jaded to be fascinated by the sight of someone just pooping, without it being... erm, recycled again?
Seriously, fuck you, John Osterlind of the 99.5 FM drive-home show, for letting me hear just the part where you mention "That movie, The Human Centipede", but nothing else, causing me to go home and say, "Hey, that sounds interesting. Wonder what that's all about?" No, fuck you, man.
Time to make the best of this, though, and come up with some alternate titles that may alleviate at least some of this uncleanliness. Here goes:
Two Girls, One Jap
DeGrASSi to Mouth: The College Years
I Know What You Ate Last Summer